Err Or Error

Prescription Glasses For Your Mind’s Eye

Name: Ryan Valich
Location: Huntsville, Alabama, United States

Friday, December 16, 2005

DEXtrorotory SPIral

You’re sitting on your couch, watching television when gradually and graciously your vision begins to twist to the right in a clockwise swirl. It feels as if someone has your optical nerves in a grip and are wrenching down on them. Just then time dilates and you loose somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes. You now realize that the cool sixty-five degree air is brushing against your exposed brain. The contents of your head are experiencing, for the first time, the outside world. You stare blankly at the television as it flip-flops from right to left and in your stupor someone mutters the words “I hate God” twice into your psyche. Then you wake up. You know realize that inside every person is a copy. You and everyone else’s mind-brain has two of the exact same things; a Conscious, and a Sub-Conscious. And does the word “Sub” imply a less active or inferior psyche? Are we all conflicted between two totally separate people, who are the same, but can make different choices? Not a spirit soul as most would assume, but a real secondary working system with its own likes and dislikes, its own beliefs, its own memories and attitudes? The subconscious, is it just another you running in the background unchecked? And if so, who lives it?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Go Climb a Tree


I was browsing through the infamous Wal-Mart the other day when lo and behold I stumbled across a Kid’s CSI: Forensic Facial Reconstruction Kit. Wow. All I can say is my jaw dropped so fast I tore a ligament. Has anyone on the face of this retarded planet ever once stopped to question what the hell we are teaching our children with toys like these? Consider this argument: violence in movies and video games make children more aggressive. Sure maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t that point can be argued however you like, however,my point is that you can’t pick and choose. You all want to have your cake and eat it too. If video game violence makes our children more aggressive and more likely to be violent, then shouldn’t it stand to reason that if your child plays with a toy like this that they will accept murder as an eventuality and a fairly common occurrence? Sure, that may be the case but think about what it says: murder is so common that they have murder related toys for children so murder isn’t that bad. Why are people not speaking out about this? Why are people even letting their children watch CSI? Children should not be watching television shows like this and in my personal opinion anyone who allows their child to watch a TV show that involves murder, arson and rape, to name a few, shouldn’t have a problem with them playing the all demonic Grand Theft Auto. The entire premise of this toy is death and murder which, if toy companies have their way, will be instilled and ground into the subconscious of our children at a very young age. This is psychologically conditioning the child to be less empathetic towards victims. It is encouraging the erasure of the horror of murder. Once the negative emotions have been dissociated from murder and death it becomes a moral speck of dust and insignificant so why not murder even more? It snuffs out the reason not to.

You parents out there are so hypocritical I can’t even comprehend it. How on earth can you say, “now don’t hit your sister, Timmy, or you can’t play with your corpse’s face”? What is next? The Forensic Rape Kit with realistic Sperm and Pubic Hair Samples? Remember when Mr. Potato Head was enough? In today’s world it would be the Mr. Detect Rape From Vaginal Tears Head. I suppose now you might say, oh well that is terrible I would never let my kid play with that.

Let us compare the “CSI: Forensic Facial Reconstruction Kit” to Mr. Potato Head.


Maybe seeing them side by side will show you the subtle differences, maybe not. Harmless and jovial Potato Man on the left, decaying, bug-eyed corpse face on the right with tendrils of flesh laying next to it.

If my child ever asked me for a Facial Reconstruction Kit I would say “no, go climb a tree,” I would rather my child play with rocks and sticks than this. Children are way too spoiled these days and I say enough is enough. No more of this pampering and sitting around trying to find “better” toys for them. Parents, stop buying so many toys and start interacting with your children more. Don’t let them watch so much TV, and certainly don’t let them watch shows that are about murder and death.

There are a lot worse toys out there than this one. But I personally think this one has taken toys to a new perspective. All the G.I. Joe series toys teach young boys to be infatuated with guns and killing and growing up to be in the military.

Take for instance this brainwashing propaganda. Mall Madness is a game in which the object of the goal is to be the first person to buy six items and get to their destination to win. The game is filled with bonuses like clearances and “all-out retail madness”. This game is specifically targeted to YOUR daughters, to all the young girls in this world. And what is its message? Spend as much money as you can. Spending money is fun. This totally robs the child of any sort of parental guidance you’ve given them towards the value of saving money and respecting and planning for the future. This worthless game teaches our girls to become obsessed with vanity and money.

The sounds of mass sponsorship of legal murder, vanity, materialism, death, obsession, money and so much more is reaching the ears of our children, our future. I say we need to take more issue with this and cut that loudspeaker off. If you parents want to raise less violent and vain children then you need to quit focusing on “evil video games” and include all toys, television shows, and music into that watchful eye of yours. Stop focusing so much on one thing. Watch your own language and actions, remove things that are suggestive, and teach your kids how to love. Because remember that every child that grows up learns how to act and how to treat others from you. Stop filling their heads with things that shouldn’t be there. Tell your kids to go climb some trees.

Pretty Boys 0, Ryan 1

I hate pretty boys. I hate them with all my heart and soul. I can not tolerate their presence. I feel as if every nanosecond I am near one some sort of cancerous propaganda-filled package of thought will ooze from them and infect me with all the malady of a thousand mind-lepers. I hate them. I cringe in anguish as I think about the agony of having to communicate with them for any reason because I feel like I have been temporarily lobotomized. They have such a microscopic, sex-obsessed brain that is superfluous with testosterone and every ego-inflating mental device known to man. Every time I speak or try to extend a hand of friendship I am always cut off or interrupted with some infinitely more important bullshit.

“Oh she’s hot, I dated her, yeah my car is real expensive, I only dress in Abercrombe and Fitch, I’m the best at this, I’m the best at that, I’m better than you, I’m awesome at basketball, I’m awesome at all the ‘cool’ video games and those are the only ones I play, I was the best football player on my team, what team do you support? What you don’t like sports? What’s wrong with you? Aren’t you a man?”

Well I say no more. I say you need to take a step back from your increasingly infinitesimal world and learn something mentally stimulating. Care about something else. Ponder the essence of life, learn some philosophy. These are not bad things so why do you turn your nose at them? Is it not people like me, people who sit and learn about things for no reason but curiosity, the ones who propel humanity into the future? Is it not people like me, the smart ones, who give you the “hip” things like iPods and better cars that you so desperately and addictively brag about? You are the dirty fucking cancer of man’s mind and I hate you. You are a useless and problematic lead weight on the ankle of the collective intellect of humans. You are nothing and therefore deserve nothing until the day you awaken from your narrow, smug and petty ways of thinking. You annoy me and I hope/pray to God, Mother Nature, Father Time, Karma, and/or the Cosmos that some sort of Universal Pruning Act of Ryan’s Steaming 2005 will suddenly kick into effect and send giant thumbs to snuff you out of existence forever and ever amen. Why the hell didn’t your mother eat you when you were young? Defect.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Tribes: Vanishing Treasures


People in today’s modern “civilized” world will never, and can never, find or achieve the level of happiness and intimacy that others possess who are outside the “real world” or what we consider civilization. The reason being is this: tribal people and nomads are a people who only work for a few hours a day on a regular basis. If you put aside constructing any buildings, or huts and all the occasional special work like celebrations and such and you only take into account the things that need to be met for survival you will find that most men in the tribes only work approximately three hours a day to provide food. This, of course, is also excluding any type of animal training or care. Now keep in mind, all their friends and family are with them in this small tribe, so there is very little need of going some other place or making a production to visit family. Also, they have no upkeep for their houses. Most of them are built, and finished in a day and stay that way until they need to be built again. There are no vehicles to take care of, there are no pets, and there are no house chores. No dishes, no laundry, no vacuuming, no cleaning, no goofing around on the internet, no video games, no TV. After having said this isn’t it obvious how much time the community would have for one another? Most of their days are spent smoking tobacco and lazing around with one another. Because American constraints take up so much of our time with the things mentioned above, we have very little time for everyone. So, mathematically, what are the odds that we will EVER know and love each other the way those people do?

Even if our good friend The Statistics gave them a full eight hours a day to accomplish these things they would still have far more time than we ever could because of the lack of items to take care of. Think about just ONE aspect of your wasted life: the commute to work. How many hours have you wasted driving to and from work? These tribal people walk five minutes and boom their in a jungle; their place of work. Think about all the time you WASTE cleaning stuff you never use, or trying to stay on top of the things you don’t really need. Or think about the time wasted on watching TV, or video games.

Well, that’s what makes us so much better than them because we are intelligent and civilized, right? For one thing all our intelligence and civilization has brought us is rapes, murders, organized crime, injustices in the imperfect and laughable justice system, arsons, terrorism, religious warfare, territorial warfare, pollution, poisonous fast foods, brainwashing propaganda, and technology that makes us fat, lazy and stupid. Sure all our advancements can do wonderful things if used correctly, but morally we are just big children with dangerous toys. And yet we aren’t any happier.

So, what is so wrong about a tribal lifestyle? What is so socially unacceptable? Sure they might work hard and be a little dirty, but when was dirt ever a bad thing? Doesn’t dirt support trees, which in turn supports oxygen, which in turn supports humans? Isn’t it dirt that allows for food? So dirt allows us to live, what is wrong with having a little under your nails? You should be KISSING dirt and thanking whatever God that it exists because without it the world wouldn’t be here. Just like every other “disgusting” thing in the ecosystem. Wear a little locket of dirt around your neck like most Christians wear the cross! IT MEANS YOUR LIFE!

These people who live in the rain forests and in the isolated and remote places and worship these strange deities and who are looked upon as savages are probably the only people who have it right. They are the ones who live life with the least amount of stress. Their BIGGEST concern on a day to day basis is the health of their loved ones and food. That’s it. Yes, when someone gets sick it’s a pretty bad situation because of the lack of medical care. But let’s face it, even with all the advancements in modern medicine we still can’t fix ninety-nine percent of the problems, or even diagnose them. That is why we still call it PRACTICING MEDICINE because no one has, or ever will, master the body or mind. Yes, when tribes go to war it’s an ugly thing, but everyone wars. The only thing that makes the big nations “better” is we have weapons that can kill more people from a greater distance. I would bet if you stripped guns and missiles from the scene we would have smaller and fewer wars. How much harder is it to rip someone’s stomach open with a sword and see the demonic look of death in their eyes as their life blood returns to the very soil that gave you life than it is to pop a cap in them from a few hundred meters? Mass murder sponsored by the military has become a depersonalized thing and because of this the trauma the soldiers face has become less since the gun revolutionized the battle grounds. Because the trauma is less and it’s not as personal it doesn’t mean as much, one man’s life isn’t that important when you’re not face to face with him while he pleads for his life and calls for mom or God.

And it saddens me to know that civilization is slowly but surely creeping in and destroying these wonderful, and mostly peaceful cultures. And I think the biggest disappointment of all is that the people who live in these tribes WANT some things to change because they believe something better awaits them.

Ryan Valich
September 19, 2005
2:57 PM Central

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Everybody! Get Rich!






Nunziko: hey, if im ever rich... wanna come over and we can light cigars with hundred dollar bills?






FrigidZephyr: sure thing






Nunziko: sweet
Nunziko: lets plan on it
Nunziko: im gunna go ahead and buy the cigars







FrigidZephyr: alright ill go liquidate any savings i have








Nunziko: lol







FrigidZephyr: lol








Nunziko: i can sell my car







FrigidZephyr: ill sell my computers too







Nunziko: and all my personal belongings
Nunziko: yeah!







FrigidZephyr: hey maybe some phillipines island will buy our wives?







Nunziko: itll be awesome when we light those stogies

What's Your Major?

Nunziko: so like, arent you a doctor yet?

cmprvelourium: no

Nunziko: oh
Nunziko: pediatrist?

cmprvelourium: i'm not going to med school!
cmprvelourium: weirdo

Nunziko: oh, my bad
Nunziko: laywer?

cmprvelourium: no

Nunziko: oh....
Nunziko: ....
Nunziko: doctor?

cmprvelourium: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nunziko: rofl
Nunziko: thats right i forgot

cmprvelourium: YUH
cmprvelourium: FREAK

Nunziko: ok so like, a .... phlebotomist
Nunziko: ooh ooh i know
Nunziko: archeologist

cmprvelourium: i'm going to school
cmprvelourium: and majoring in
cmprvelourium: MATERIALS ENGINEERING
cmprvelourium: got it?
cmprvelourium: good

Nunziko: tch materials engineering
Nunziko: thats not fun

cmprvelourium: yes it is

Nunziko: you cant like cut people open
Nunziko: or study plants

cmprvelourium: but i can work on cars without getting dirty!

Nunziko: or take a whip and hunt for treasure
Nunziko: plllh
Nunziko: nerd

cmprvelourium: yeah. you're a nerd too, sonny

Nunziko: i wanna major in archeology so i can take a machete to some nazi's heads and bring back the holy grail

cmprvelourium: ...
cmprvelourium: if you can get it through us customs!

Nunziko: i wonder if they teach you how to ride a horse and use a whip, like do they have grounds on campus or do they take you some other place
Nunziko: lol

cmprvelourium: nope
cmprvelourium: you go into a little lab
cmprvelourium: with a dim light and stay hunched over little arrowheads and rocks

Nunziko: ill bet my archeologist teacher could kick your material engineering teachers ass
Nunziko: hm
Nunziko: that doesnt sound right
Nunziko: now i know ive seen every indiana jones movie
Nunziko: and he did NONE of that
Nunziko: TV wouldnt lie

cmprvelourium: well IT IS
cmprvelourium: he's a special case

Nunziko: what like an elite archeological force?

cmprvelourium: sure

Nunziko: archeology means kicking ass
Nunziko: thats my stance on it
Nunziko: youll learn to fight, shoot, and wear hats
Nunziko: mm hmm

cmprvelourium: ....
cmprvelourium: you
cmprvelourium: have issues

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Unfair Laziness


The coffee cups piled up like stagnant corpses. As if they were so many forgotten soldiers of the morning, forced to bear the boiling coffee in the wee hours then left beside their brothers to grow cold and die. Solemnly awaiting for a human to return was a waste of time for they found no solace in being pushed aside for smelly feet. Abandoned on the lonesome plain of unpolished oak the red and white polka-dotted cups sat with emotionless, pale, and placid souls beside the cool, tall glass of sweaty soda recently placed to seemingly stab at their self-worth. It even had ice in it… the bastard. It was a losing situation, coffee was no good cold. It smelled horrible, tasted putrid, and started forming disgusting rings around the inside when left for days on end.

"I am parched, and need sweet nutrients," I said aloud.

"Here I am, choose me!" One coffee cup shouted.

I laughed.

"Choose me! I was once suited to be drank! Choose me, it is not too late!"

I pondered this unexpected turn of events. Was I to drink day old coffee? Surely not. But as I laughed again and reached for the smug, chilled soda I saw through the bouncy carbonation an army of coffee cups all faltering together with belittled and broken spirits. A bead of sweat formed on my temple.

I eyed the soda from the corner of my eye and whispered, "what fate is mine to keep, I wonder."

The coffee mugs gathered together in a huddled, pathetic mass. Slowly marching at me with determined, angry looks of betrayal. Had they formed a rebel band of would-be martyrs? Surely they knew what would become of them if there was disorder in the cupboard.

I heard the slow beating of tribal drums and the polka-dotted ceramic marched perfectly in tune, almost with an essence of triumphance.

I asked in a commanding tone, "a mutiny?"

Not a word came from them. They continued marching in place to the beat of the ever intense drum. The sound grew louder with each passing moment and all other sounds faded from my ears as the coffee cups became the sole focus of my thoughts. I could feel them inside my head. The marching, the heavy, ghostly marching of The Abandoned rang incessantly and reverberated from the walls of my house.

"No," I spoke with a feeble whisper. Yet they persisted.

Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! This was the tune of their song that cried in harmony with the thunderous beating of the drum. I looked for the soda, but it was nowhere to be found. What happened? What was going on? Someone tell me! I then saw the soda on the far end of the table being marched toward the edge. Calamity befell; as I reached for it with screams of terror the tasty, bubbly liquid toppled from the rim of the glass in slow motion. Time traveled slower than the orbit of the farthest planet as I watched the dark soda glisten in a moment of untasted glory as it, and the entire glass, fell to the absorbent carpet.

"No!" I roared at the very top of my lungs.

The marching, the drumming, the drinking, it became clear and loud as never before. My awestricken, watery eyes saw the murderous coffee mugs face me. They now all stomped toward me high above the terrible carnage their impatience had caused. They grasped brushes, nail clippers, permanent markers, post-it notes, anything that could barely be a weapon.

"Stop," I said, "stop!" But they did not, they marched ever forward. Those who were left behind for the rot of death had finally had enough, they were making their own rules, they were crying out in rebellion, they wanted recognition for their sad state.

"Stop! Please, stop it now!" They then paused, sensing the truthfulness in my voice. "Stop this madness! I will wash you! I will clean you! I will not leave a single flake of cooked pottery behind! I will do whatever it is you want me to do, please, just stop."

And so they did. And since that day I have held true to my promise in washing them, putting them in their proper places, and drinking all my coffee. Every now and then I will rinse immediately after use, as a favor or kind gesture. To this day I’ve left the stain from the soda as a constant reminder of the independence the coffee mugs risked martyrdom for. And, once in a while, I cautiously ponder the correctness of my actions for the clothes hamper, and the bathroom.

© Copyright 2005 - All Rights Reserved - Ryan Valich

As always I am looking for feedback on my words. I would love to make new friends who share the same passion for writing and abstract ideas and I invite anyone to make comments, either good or bad, and to contact me.

Boundaries


© Copyright 2005 - All Rights Reserved - Ryan Valich
As always I am looking for feedback on my words. I would love to make new friends who share the same passion for writing and abstract ideas and I invite anyone to make comments, either good or bad, and to contact me.

Theory

I don’t believe when people try and simplify things, and explain things in theories and mathematics, such as the universe and chemistry, that they are “simplifying” anything. All they accomplish is finding a consistent, a common element shared within those systems being observed. By being able to explain the universe in one theory, even if it were a thousand page book, does not simplify the universe itself. It does not take away, or even dumb down blackholes, supernovas, energy and gravity. All it does is create a personification that we know and understand the vastly complex workings of our reality. And that knowledge, to say we understand, is what humans strive for in their lives. To say, “yes, I understand why, how, and what.” But these all encompassing theories that are supposed to explain everything just don’t do their jobs. You can’t explain everything. You can’t explain or theorize the barrier between mechanical processes like chemicals and electricity in your brain, and the spark of elusive substance that makes your life and who you are. Because, in reality, all you are is a lump of tissue, muscle, electricity and chemicals… a machine. Even your mind is nothing more than a heap of lifeless computer. But somewhere inside that inanimate robot is life. When you look at it, what is life? Is it chemicals and atoms moving and interacting? That isn’t life. That is chemicals and atoms moving and interacting.

© Copyright 2005 - All Rights Reserved - Ryan Valich
As always I am looking for feedback on my words. I would love to make new friends who share the same passion for writing and abstract ideas and I invite anyone to make comments, either good or bad, and to contact me.

Red Meat and Trucks

I grab my crotch and spit, because I am a man. I have a foul mouth and use every unintelligent word in the French and English language at least twice in any given sentence, because I am a man. I play sports and believe in it religiously. The important things in my life are, in this order, as follows: The Size of My Genitals, Sports, God, and Trucks. Women and Booze run side by side.

I am insensitive and uncaring about the feminine creatures or sides of reality or anything even remotely related to them. Yet, I try and sleep with as many women as I can and take as much as I can get from them in bed without trying to return the favor. If I can not get my way I will become childish, and violent. I have more love for my arms and chest than a mother does for her children. I am shallow and incoherent in my reasoning and have little tolerance for annoyance. If something does not work, hit it. I know in my heart it is cool to tell disgusting jokes and look at pornography on a regular basis with my other drunken friends.

Working on cars makes me awesome. Being dirty and sweaty makes me release an aura of animal-like sexuality and the women can sense this. The most logical step would be to remain filthy, unshaven, and stinking for as long as I can. I never clean under my fingernails.

Competition is what drives me. It doesn’t matter what it’s over, as long as there is something to compete over, I will try my damnedest to be the winner. I would even compete over a hypothetical situation or nonexistent prize. I am still the winner even when I loose, because I don’t loose. And even if I did loose I’ve had more babes than him, plus my rod is bigger and I can drink him under the table any day. So it really doesn’t matter, these things are obvious to anybody how much of a man I really am.

I only eat red meat.
I only drive trucks.
I am a sore looser.
I am selfish.
I am rude.
I am cold.
I am distant.
I am unfaithful.
I am arrogant.
I am childish.
I am hurtful.
I am a mold.
I am a cookie-cut.
I am one more disease in the mind of man.

© Copyright 2005 - All Rights Reserved - Ryan Valich

As always I am looking for feedback on my words. I would love to make new friends who share the same passion for writing and abstract ideas and I invite anyone to make comments, either good or bad, and to contact me.